So this week’s rant is a shot (No Pun) at all of you that can’t hold your liquor, and get liquid courage. Don’t get me wrong, I love to drink and have a good time. But some of you ruin that shit for me. When things start to get loud (white girls yelling) and people start getting “touchy feely” I start to get annoyed. I get annoyed for two reasons. 1. The girls that are always loud, usually pass out and throw up and ruin the night. 2. The people that usually get “touchy feely” with me are guys. Now I’m not homophobic, but something about another dude touching me makes me want to perform a wrestling move on them. I don’t really hate drunk girls though, because they’re usually the ones that are DTF!
Don’t waste your time trying to hook up with a chick at the club because they always have that one friend that will cock block till the end of time. (Shout out to all the duff’s = Designated ugly fat friends)
High School parties always sucked, because they either got raided super early or they were always in the ghetto and ended because of a fight. I remember almost getting hit with a glass bottle at one of those parties… Anyways, parties in high school always sucked because out of all my friends I was the only one with a car at the time. So by default, I had to be the DD.
We all have that one friend that gets a little too fucked up and always wants to fight someone, and if shit does go down you have to jump in because he’s the homie. I had homies that were small like Snooki, but always thought they could fight the biggest dude.
Shout out to Foster’s Liquor for never carding anybody! If you’re from Downey/Bellflower you know what liquor store i’m talking about.
Know your limit people, because I guarantee if you drink too much you’ll be throwing up like the bitch from the exorcist and in the morning you’ll be feeling like the homie from Passion of The Christ after walking 300 miles carrying a big ass cross all while getting whipped and being mad dehydrated.
Here’s a little video from David So, a comedian that also rants on his hatred towards drunk people. Enjoy!
P.S. Don’t drink and drive folks. You’ll have to work a lot of shifts at McDonalds to pay off that hefty fine.