So how many shows, concerts and festivals have you dudes been to and it’s a total frankfurt fest full of men in kilts, snapbacks and long shirts. You wanna go to a show to listen to some dope music, probably get faded and SMASH on hoes, how often do you achieve the trifecta or in this case TriFuckta? NEVER its not cuz you’re lame, well maybe it is but for the most part is because you are going to the wrong shows my friend! Attending a Chief Keef show isn’t the way to smash hoes bro, first of all every dude there is a savage and keeps it #3hunna; you and your friends hardly keep it #2fitty. There is too many sweaty dudes shaking their dreads, you don’t got none and the sweaty dude to cute girl ratio is probably 8 to 1 ( Learn to play the percentages bitch boi!).
So if you really want to go to a concert where the sweaty dude to cute girl ratio is a little higher go to a fuckin’ Trey Songz, Chris Brown, Usher, The Weeknd, or Drake show you idiot! Its okay if you didn’t think of this til’ now, it took me a while to get enlightened and I’m glad to share this secret with you (just don’t tell all your faggy friends). Any poppin’ R&B singers show is guaranteed to be filled with 4 things.
1. Half Naked Hoes with hopes the performer is going to notice them and take them back to the telly.
2. Drunk Horny Girls Singing Baby Making Music.
3. 20-1 cute girl to sweaty dude ratio.
4. Sensitive Dudes taking their girlfriends to enjoy a night on the town.
What does all that mean for you? THERE IS NO COMPETITION. You are finally a big fish in a small pond (congrats guppy), all these dripping wet thirsty girls are looking to fornicate with the next man they see after watching Usher sing “Nice and Slow” and hump the mic stand for 2 hours. Let the R&B singers do all the work and sliiiiiide up in there. If possible also try to dress as much like the performer as you can, except if its Jason Derulo, you might fuck around and pull a big Jordin Sparks lookin’ hoe, don’t be stupid.
So remember all of this when picking your next event and say wassup when you see me at the next LA Robin Thicke concert.
–Victor Stunts
